Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Do you know fear?

- Eight Legged Freaks (2002).

What's the big deal anyway?*

*If you're shit scared of spiders, as in like can't even look at them, quit this post now.

As I write this post my cat is locked in my bedroom until he kills that spider.
Its massive, and I don't mean girl-over-reacting massive, I mean IT IS THE SIZE OF MY HEAD.

It got me thinking when and where this somewhat irrational fear materialised in my wee head, I wasn't always afraid of the little beasts. In fact I remember chasing my brother while clutching the wings of a daddy long legs - hilaaaaarious.

But now if there is a daddy long legs anywhere near me there is a high chance I will actually wet myself.
Spiders should not be able to fly.

I then remembered seeing this floating around the internet somewhere:

Me: We cool?

Spider: Yeah, yeah, we're cool. I'm just coming down to scope out the tub.

Me: Oh, that's legit. Hey you might wanna move over some -- you're descending right into the shower steam and I don't want you to drown.

Spider: Hey thanks, bud. I'll be careful.

Me: So... can I get out now?

Spider: Sure, sure! Sorry I'll just move over here.

Me: Thanks, you have a nice night. Don't come into my bedroom okay?

Spider: Nah, that's your space. We're cool. Have a great evening!

In theory this seems about right, but in reality if I discovered  a talking spider descending into my bathtub I would kill it with hairspray and fire. Then kill it some more. 

Not that I'd overreact or anything.

Oh wait, I also found these:

Now I feel guilty as hell so I'm going to relieve the cat of his duties, save the spider, call him Jeremy and together we will fight the spider fear.



  1. I take after my mum and find it impossible to harm any creature, no matter how small so I have never, ever killed a spider! I don't mind them at all but my boyfriend is terrified so I have to remove them from the flat whenever they appear...

    1. I wish I was as kind hearted as that, but I'm so not. Hahaha, yes, my flatmates used to be the spider removererer's for me...x

  2. Hope you managed to get back into your room? I don't mind spiders, its wasps that get me - hate them and will run around screaming to get away from them but they always seem to follow. Like the wee pictures above, they made me laugh!
    Lianne x

    1. I did! I braved it. Oh god, wasps are my hell. Ruined many a picnic. x